The Choice I Made

At this point in time, I am about to make a very important decision. For weeks and weeks I have been stranded in the reverie of the fantasy and hellish consequences of either paths which lead me to be so hesitant to take a step forward to either road. It is scary and exciting. I sought books, I asked God, read the Bible, listened to debates. Then I made a choice. I realized that life can have so many what ifs, but at the end of the day we have to make a choice – and yes at the end of the day, I choose to honor God. I choose to honor God. Thus, I hope and pray, that even though my feeble mind tends to view things wrong, I hope that this time I had this right. This time, Father, may you be honored and glorified with the decision I have made. It may be an unpopular decision, but it is the most sincere choice I can make – full of love, and selfless devotion. Father, I offer this decision to you. May you help me set sail this boat I am in, and please help me meet and overcome the storm I will yet to face. Thank you, Yahweh Elohim.

Once upon a time…

Everything is the same.

All system. everything.

I have not searched far enough, dug deep enough nor toiled hard enough but I have come to this conclusion that everything is the same. At the same time, it’s all so different too.

I have just passed my PALS (Pediatric Advanced Life Support) class. And one of the concepts that have remained well in my mind is this: You have to fill the pipe so you can have something to pump and you have to pump what is in the pump to have it going. It’s an easier way of saying that you have to fill the blood vessels with fluid before you can administer vasoconstrictor  to pump it, and you cannot just administer fluid with a weak heart without aiding it with vasoconstrictor to help pump the fluid.

Now, as I was trying to unwind, I resolved to write. I started with “Once upon a time….” and I realized my tank is empty. There is nothing I can pump. Ooops, did I just talk PALS? It’s all the same. Principle wise. Writing, nursing, travelling, investing, cooking, relationships, education, government. The science of it all. But at the same time, it’s way different. Where one ends and one begins, I guess that’s where our persona exist. And here I am just as I am, unable to continue that sentence, “Once upon a time…”

Once upon a time book cover

Harry Potter series: my Mirror of Erised

mirror of erised.pngI

remember that scene in Sorcerer’s stone when Harry found out about the Mirror of Erised. There in the mirror he saw a reflection of him together with his father and mother who are both long dead when Harry was just a little boy. After days of coming and visiting the mirror to see his parents, he realized the magic of the mirror: it shows the viewer their deepest and most desperate desire. But according to Dumbledore, it shows neither truth nor hope and that people have wasted away in front of the mirror and some have gone mad.

Whenever I watch that part, it always occur to me that I am in the same situation as Harry is in at that scene. As Harry was watching the Mirror of Erised, I too am watching my own mirror of Erised. Harry Potter series has shown me a world that is full of wonder, learning that is full of surprises, duty and responsibility that truly is meaningful, and friendship that stands strong even in death or just simple task as having detention together. I’ve watched and watched and have really been so involved in this series. But like I said, it has become to me like a mirror of Erised. Although it may not reflect the deepest desire of my heart, it did embodied the dreams I have, the aspiration I have for wonder, adventure, bravery, and lasting friendships and a mentor like Dumbledore. Like the mirror of Erised, drowning myself in the wizarding world, will not change the reality of my world now – it neither shows me truth nor hope. What I learned from Harry Potter will be deemed useless if it does not affect how I live in this real world.

As much as I love this mirror of Erised of mine, I shall now close it, thank it, and I am to start living my life, with conviction and bravery.

Thank you, mirror of Erised. Thank you, Harry Potter.


Overcoming Stress: “The Best Way”

The Adventure Within

First of all let me define the word “Stress”. According to the dictionary, stress means “physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension.” Stress can cause us to do things we would not normally do or cause us to shut down completely. Everyone suffers from it and it’s part of most people’s lives.

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If you try to google it out, you can always find many suggestions how to live a stress-free life. Well, we always have the option to follow them or create our own method to release off steam and just have that “living-young-and-free” feeling.

It is always good to have, even once in a while, that moment when you think of nothing and just relax. Seeing the beautiful creation God created while enjoying your favorite coffee and meal. I was always eager at looking for things and searching the net for ways to overcome stress. I tried going out for…

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Such Love

Love knows no intelligence nor any boundaries. Not even the prison cell nor death doors could keep it at bay.

Such love that not even silence can capture

The sentence comes in separate words

Bridge of deep waters separate one from the other

When the sound was released, it lingers but it never stays

Not even the silent field can contain it.

I grasped for breath beneath the cold air

My words are many years old

But they never rusted even if –

Now is the first time I have really used it –

Now that we part.

And you didn’t even get to hear it –


This poem was inspired by the movie Miracle at Cell Number 7. 

After watching the movie, I realize that Love indeed is the greatest good.

Yesterday’s Grief by Katherine Lee Bates

The falling rain of yesterday is ruby on the roses,
Silver on the poplar leaf, and gold on willow stem;
The grief that fell just yesterday is silence that encloses
God’s great gifts of grace, and time will never trouble them.
The falling rain of yesterday makes all the hillsides glisten,
Coral on the laurel and beryl on the grass;
The grief that fell just yesterday has taught the soul to listen
For whispers of eternity in all the winds that pass.
O faint of heart, storm-beaten, this rain will shine tomorrow,
Flame within the columbine and jewels on the thorn,
Heaven in the forget-me-not; though sorrow now is sorrow,
Yet sorrow will be beauty in the magic of the morn.

I especially want to dedicate this poem by Bates to all the people afflicted by super typhoon Yolanda. “Though your sorrow now is sorrow,” no one can contest to that or tell you that it is ‘okay’ but know that “sorrow will be beauty in the magic of the morn.”

We are mourning and praying with you. You are in our hearts. And rest assured that our brothers and sisters here in the Philippines and even here in the place where I am in are not just loving you in thought and speech but also in action. We cannot swallow the thought of being comfortable while thousands in Tacloban are in the brink of life and death. People, we can and we must do something. Pray. Give. 

Are We Seeing Right?


It is true what they said that it is when the heart is broken will the eyes will be opened.

People bustle downtown minding there own business – we all have our own sphere called loneliness. Even the liveliest person you could ever name has it. Before, it takes numbers of people to build a kingdom, now a single person can live in its own kingdom of loneliness and be efficient and still have fun because of his/her  virtual bodies. We are in short walking side by side in the same path but in different directions. We neither see nor know each other. And you know why that is? It is because we are looking too close – too close within us – close enough that we are missing the big picture.

The big picture is something that I cannot objectively tell you here. It is something that you have to encounter yourself in your own journey. But, yes there is a but. I want to give you a clue – the big picture is something you can never find in yourself nor with the people around you. It is something we are all privileged to know but only a few dared to see it. And once touched by the truth of this big picture you will never be the same – for you will be ashamed that you even dared look for it deep within you. For it is something that is far greater than we could ever imagine. It is something that we can grasp but never fully grasp. You, my friend, have to go through that old book that you have called the B-I-B-L-E and discover the big picture yourself.

The Earthquake (October 15, 2013)

1Kings 19: 11- 12

 11The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

I remembered this verse, and the whole duration of the earthquake which I suppose lasted for 20 – 30 seconds, I was only able to utter, “Abba, Father” repeatedly  with this verse in my heart. There was peace in my heart.

We will definitely melt before the very presence of our God! 😀

Holy holy holy indeed is our God!