Silent Wails of Decayed Trust

"......Deokman.... my Deokma..." Bidam's very last words.

“……Deokman…. my Deokman…” Bidam’s very last words.

It might be difficult a task to gain the trust of people; however, it would be more exacting a calling to abandon those people whose confidence you have already earned.

Thus, a person of genuine valor would rather choose to suffer rather than to abandon that person. That person would have faith. Situations might point fingers on that person whom you trust but should you prove your alliance to be strong, faith is the very ingredient that should abound. An alliance, a relationship, a friendship, or coalition, cannot exist for long without faith.

What a tragedy would it be, for genuine fealty to end because one failed to believe enough. One failed to endure and believe. Treacherous blood may cry out in anguish and remorse but such cry would deem to be mute in comparison to the wail of silence. The silent wail of a pure fealty – pure trust and pure love torn apart by the mistake of not having faith. Silent wails indeed will  surely haunt. Sadness and not angst.

All I can hope is that for the other to remain boundlessly faithful. And only by then can silence be broken. Wounds be healed. And though the blood may dry and the smell of death perish from the land, the wounds that caused those blood to drip will surely be healed. The undying faithfulness of a person despite the other party’s failure to believe is indeed a healing potion. It knows no bounds.

And is not that a familiar situation?

This tragic yet victorious story-

Is it not your story?

I believe that it too is my story.

It may take a different page in the annals of what we call history, but your story and my story is I believe, a story drenched by the faithfulness of our KING-GOD-FATHER and also by our constant unfaithfulness.

If only we can believe. If only we can be faithful, what a wondrous fate would that be. A life in abundance indeed.

A thief comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance.

John 10:10

This post is inspired by Queen Seon Deok  particularly by the failure of Bidam to trust Deokman.

Innocent Man

The choices they made defines their ulterior motive in life. Every decision made prohibits the other. Every path taken obliterates the other paths. Decisions made better be the best choice. There is no going back. You can only go forward.

Kang Maru, Seo Eun Gi, Han Jae Hee, and Lawyer Park, these characters moved me, made me cry, made me hope, despair, angry, relieved, happy, sad, and best of all – made me felt that in this world, some people recognize the magical effect of sacrifice.

I slept 3:00 am that night/day. It was April 30, 2013 early morning. Everyone was asleep and I was silently  crying, silently filling my heart and my thoughts with all that I can absorb from the series I was watching. Every word said, every scene portrayed, I just can’t dare miss it.

One Innocent Man who gets tangled into the lives of two complicated ladies.

One Innocent Man who got himself entangled into the lives of two complicated ladies.

I don’t know exactly how to approach this post. This is not a review, a synopsis nor a critic. This is just me pouring my heart out saying that this series is heart-breaking yet every time I watch it, my day is full. Every time I watch it, I learn something new – and even discover some truths about my very nature. I love Kang Maru and Seo Eun Gi. Han Jae Hee even is not a hated character of mine. I believe she has in her a good heart. But wrong judgment in the past has clouded her judgments ever since.

Series like this. Series that majors on sacrifice. Series that unspeakably shouts the thought that A SACRIFICE can make a very huge difference in the life of many is the kind of series that stirs my thought – that breaks my heart. Perhaps because I too wanted to be a brave person like most of these characters. I too wanted to not be selfish. The sacrifice they made entails so much love that they forgot about themselves. The cup they drink is not really of suffering but of love that moved them to do things that is just explicitly beyond normal thought.

Kang Maru did that. Lawyer Park did that too.


I’m a fight fan. One of the fundamentals of fighting is to be able to hit and not get hit. We all know that in an octagon of aggression, a terrible mistake could translate to a TKO to the enemy’s favor. That’s why we always hear coaches by the sideline yelling at their fighter to keep their guards up. The likelihood of kissing the canvas unconscious is high every time a fighter throws a punch with his other hand down.

How true can such reality apply in the world of a Christian disciple?
Are we a people who keep our guards up? Or are we someone who is putting it too low? Or maybe some of us have been TKO’d simply because we’ve kept it too low.

Paul tells us in that we ought not to be conformed to this world (Rom 12:2).
Conformity is always locked up with…

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Inspired by THE INKLINGS

THE INKLINGS – an informal writer’s group in UK that usually meet at pubs to discuss story ideas. Most of their stories were mythical and involved elves, dwarfs, fairies, powers, and all the drama of the fight between good and evil. Some of the great authors – C.S. Lewis and J.R.R Tolkien – were part of the INKLING.

As I read Lewis Chronicles of Narnia, I began to see something fairly important in his work. I see now that it’s myth but in almost every respect, it speaks of reality but in a far louder voice than any of the most books that have reality as its setting and theme. Lewis’ book is myth/fantasy/ fairy tale, whatever you call it – with talking animals and secret passages to a different world. It’s myth BUT it’s truer than most fiction that holds realistic settings. It’s a child’s favorite book but it has more substance. It’s a great book for that matter. And I believe part of the factor is that because it is fantasy and real… and because it passed great minds (the inklings) before it was even written.

Inspired by this, I think I’m gonna consider writing FANTASY 🙂

And perhaps, consider being part of an “INKLING”  🙂 say, we create one?

Who’s one with me?



Within me is a very dark creature. I don't even understand her very nature that I dare not unleash her to any human being. Often times I fear that no normal person can ever truly accept the 'human' within me. I cast it all to God. My rebuker, comforter, teacher, Lord and Father. He alone knows. Yet slowly, He gradually puts people into my life who would just keep on barging in to dig in behind the scenes even if I declare that I am okay.

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Weird Feeling

I ought to be excited. Tomorrow’s gonna be a great day –  Reunion with Elementary pips – at the beach!  O but it’s a weird feeling lurking within. It’s not nervousness. It’s just uneasiness. It’s been six years and to be with them for one whole day, what would it be like? I remembered that they were such good company then, but would I be a good company? You know crazy thoughts like that…. It’s so disconcerting.  I do miss them. I want to connect again. I want to gap the years between. O but I, who is not socially adept, how will I? I don’t know. I don’t want this day go to waste. I don’t want to swim. I don’t go there to swim. It’s reunion. It’s reuniting. Reconnecting. Relearning what has been forgotten. Discovering something new. O let not the purpose of this event be destroyed. Let it not be.

Perhaps I’m just over thinking.


I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know who holds the future and I trust Him so I’ll sleep now. Rest assured that no matter what, tomorrow will always be a great day.

Good night folks 🙂 ZZZZzzZZzZzZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Captured Thoughts

Have you noticed how much education has snatched much of our opportunity to learn? If you have not, then I tell you: It can. 

I remember an author once said:

If superficiality is the curse of our age, then HURRY pronounces the spell. Depth always comes slowly.

Do not get me wrong. I am not rebelling against my class schedule which as you can see  is  fully crammed. I accept it as it is. What else can I do? Plus, it came from people of authority and I believe that they are placed there for they know what they’re doing.  Another thing,  people of authority could sometimes get wrong, but it has always been stressed in God’s Word to respect authority. If we are to correct them, correct them politely but I’m in no business to correct them here.

When I look at my sched, I can only sigh not…

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